WELL I'M ALSO 14 AND I THINK SHE SHOULD NOT BE TREATING YOU THAT WAY. IF I WAS ACTING THAT WAY MY PARENTS WOULD SO TAKE ME TOO BOOT CAMP. SINCE WHEN HAS SHE BEEN ACTING THAT WAY WITH YOU? WHAT YOU SHOULD DO IS TAKE HER TO BOOT CAMP. YOU DONT DESERVE TO BE TREATED THAT WAY. YOUR PROBABLY A GREAT MOTHER. NO MOTHER DESERVES TO BE TREATED THAT WAY. OR TAKE HER TO ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES. OR GET PROFESSIONAL HELPWhat do I do with a disrespectful teenage girl?
boot camp?! harsh! what this girl need is a stepdad-daughter talk. something inside is bothering her very much and she needs love, not to be forced out of ur life!!
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Have some serious talks with your husband about this. He is not doing her any favors with allowing the behavior, but he has to be the one that makes the changes. I have the same problem and things are finally start to get settled down. One of the problems that you will find is that your husband wants to be the good parent in a divorced family that means he wants to be her friend. What your step-daughter needs is for him to be her parent.
You are a adult you shouldnt be asking advice for how to raise your step-daughter. I have a step mom I dont listen to anything she says cause shes not my mom.
it sounds like she's resentful of you and her father's relationship. despite the fact that you were brought up in an era of discipline and respect for your elders, you have to remember that this is the 21st century and adults must earn respect from their offspring in order to get it back.
i don't think the answer is forcing her to live with her mother as this is yet another rejection by her father. standing nose to nose with her will not work . she has her own personality with her own wants and needs. try addressing a few of them. just remember, she's a child and needs some guidance, not bullying. try and be a little sympathetic towards her; her family has broken down and she feels pushed away. i realise this is gonna be hard. what was she like before you and her father got together? if she's always been hard faced then nothing's ever gonna change anyway.
good luck!
If you feel you don't get the right answer about how to get her to go to her mom's, here's an idea%26gt;%26gt;%26gt; Since she does need help, there are places where she could be sent to teach her better behavior. A foster-daughter I had was sent to such a place (by DHR), due to her constant misbehavior. It was a long time ago %26amp; I don't remember what the name of it is, but it was like King's Ranch, only for girls. They don't let them out till they're of age and/or unless they reach a level of behavior that is satisfactory. The girls are under constant supervision... they believe in using certain methods that teach them good behavior. You could check with Methodist churches or DHR %26amp; see if they know of such a place in your area.
My mother always say Ur Neva to old for a whooping.
If she wants to act like a little brat, then treat her like a little brat. Take away everything except the bare essentials, and then let her earn back privileges and possessions with correct behavior. Also it takes two, he (the father) has to be with you on this, or you’re just the “badguy”. Just remember it will get worse before it gets better.
I feel that there is deffinately some type of anger issues that she is holdin in. I think that you should all sit down as a family, and discuss what is going on with her. Don't threaten her with sending her to her mother, but do talk to her father and let him know that he is not makin g the situation better by just doing what she says. He is the adult, and he needs to let her know that.
sounds like there is something really wrong with her you should look into some counseling for her or something. You need to get to the root of the problem.
Well, talk heart to heart with her, and MAKE her listen if you have to. Phyical force may be necessary, and you will have to discipline her. You have to let her know that acting that way is NOT OKAY. Speak firmly and don't let her control you. Also, talk to her dad and ask him
';Why do you let her take advantage of you?!';
Remeber your place first of all: you're the STEP-mother. Not the mom herself. Try having your husband's ex and you and your husband get together and discuss the issue. See what approaches or advice she may have for you guys. Being disrespectful at this age only gets WORSE and it's good that you're concerned and trying to fix the problem now. One step in the right direction! I would go ahead and see if you three can talk out what might be a good solution; maybe spending a month with her mother and having things get straightened out will be an option. Grounding, yelling, punishing won't always work in the right way and might send her into a even larger rebellion. Go ahead and get together. Have your husband talk to her and see if maybe there's reasons for her bad attitude towards her...such as unforgivness, past problems that have yet to be mended, problemes at school, friends, it could be anything and it could just be a way to get all the anger out. You said that she demands things and he does it, but that is NOT the way to go and it sounds like it's part of the problem because everytime you give her what she wants just to calm her down and get her to stop being so disrespectful is leading to more of that because she knows that she'll get what she wants when she does throw and a fit and demand things. I would say all in all, the three of you parents and step-parents need to talk things out, then all of you need to confront her (and if not all of you, then JUST your husband because sometimes bringing yourself into the mix may be a problem because you're not her mother but mainly her step-mother and hopefully when your relationship gets better a friend). Just keep going at it and hopefully you guys can all work together to fix this disrespectful stuff now.
you poor woman.she needs some therapy. you and your husband need to attend some tough love courses.it will be hard but if you dont fix this how is she going to survive when she is grown.even though she is mean and nasty she is still a child and you need to help her. best wishes to you.
gounrd her butt for a year
Your stepdaughter does'nt want to live with her mother,because like you said,her mother won't let her get away with such nonsence. She's acting out at her father,because he's with you,and not mom. Your husband has to put her in her place,letting her know,that the home he has made for her,also belongs to YOU!. (Note:) You did not mention how old she is.
If she's a minor,then she has no choice but to obey his rules,and yours,or go back to mom. If she's a teen,then she has to learn respect and honor,and rules should be put down,before she starts doing things that will hurt her,and the family.
Its not about sending her back to mom, its about dad realizing he is the adult and she is the child, and you are the adult also in her life you married into it and if shes living with you disipline her. She is doing this to see what daddy with do when you cracks the whip. when he puts his foot down and she still refuses call the police and they will put her in a place she wont want to be. and dont fight with her causing a pushing match that wont help
just tell her its either we work together as a team or you go back to moms and if she doesn't want that then let her spread her wings and think about it
its your house your rules and even if you are a stepmom you have to be the adult 2
but tell your husband to get some balls about hisself and grow up and be a dad not her friend (cause who would want a 30 + old friend if your 13+)
does her dad want her to go live with her mother. If not then u gotta either deal with that ***** or leave her dad. It's gunna suck for you but u gotta remove her needs (well to her they are needs) this may sound crazy but, discontinue your Cable/Sattelite, get u and ur man cell phones and take the phone outta ur house, dont cook dinner or buy things that she will eat, make her NOT want to be there, do stuff thats boring to her like have ';movie night'; where u and her dad watch a movie alone IN THE LIVING ROOM. also if she has internet...u might have to get rid of hers wich means u might get rid of yours too but sacrifice, or put the computer in the living room or somehwere where EVERYONE can see it. Just make it the most undesirealbe place to live for a teenager. GOOD LUCK
This is Daddy's problem and very likely his fault. He needs to get over whatever guilt or self esteem problems he has that are preventing him from being a parent to his daughter. You say that she doesn't get away with this with her Mother? That tells me that there is a communication problem between Mom and Dad. I find that a united front is the only way for my ex-wife and I to stand up to our children. It's a very old truth that a house divided cannot stand. That doesn't mean that divorce has to lead to division. They gave birth to her together and until she's on her own they are responsible to parent her together. You are in a hard position. If you push to hard against the husband your screwed. If you push to hard against the daughter your screwed. All you can do is say what's on your mind then step back and let them sort it out or self destruct.
theres nothing you can do. she's a teenager she's grown up herself and she's on her own now. you as the stepmother can't %26amp; shouldn't do anything.
send her to brat camp
This girl is a normal teen these days. She is
acting out and really looking for love. There is
a flip side to love, hate and she doesn't know it.
Her acting out is the flip side. I would suggest
some councelling with someone who can relate
to teenagers. Her going to her mothers could be
what is needed and maybe not. Her attitude will
not change no matter where she lives unless someone
can take the time to listen to her, and role model
what is acceptable behaviour from a adult perspective.
There are a lot of self help books too if you want to start
building a relationship with this young lady. She is going
to be around since you are going out with her father.
Building safe bridges are a solid foundation to happiness.
Life isn't always cut and dried....love and respect go a long way.
Talk to the father about it why is he letting this happen if he doesn´t do anything about it then tell him to send her to live with her mother......tell him you feel very bad with this situation and that there has to be something you two can do about it.....
it sounds like she needs an old fashion but whoopin...and that dont work send her to a boot camp..or juve..she will change her ways after that...
and when she demands stuff dont get it for her..make her get it her self..and when she says rude things thats when she needs a but whooping..well thats wut my parents would do..so try that..
Dad needs to start, not giving in all the time, sounds to me that shes is spoiled and dont understand the word no!!!!!!!! expecially from dad he needs to step up and be a dad and not allow her to do the things shes doing and if she wants to be disrespectful, i would start to take away things like cell phone, radios, computers, and etc, and not allow her to go anywhere!!!! Then I would make the rule if she cant behave there then she can just go live with her mom, that might help too cuz if she knows you will pack her bag then maybe she will quit with the behavior, also dad needs to learn the word NO!!!!
That's awful. Not what she's doing, but that you would rather circumscribe her to feelings of not being wanted then help her. You should want to help her, not send her off.
She is dealing with serious self esteem, trust, and familial issues. The fact that she isn't living with both parents has to be hard, she may feel that her mother doesn't want her or is neglicting her. And, I think it's safe to assume you don't want her.
Maybe you should attempt to reach out and communicate with her. Go to women relief shelters and volunteer with her, etc. Show her that there are people who have it much worse then she does, etc. Just try to do right by her and your husband.
Have a private talk with her, try not to get n her case and definitely don't yell 'cause that will make it all worse, ask her what is wrong and try as hard as you can to fix it.
errr...how old is she? have you considere that she might be really upset about you being in her dads life or her parents not being together? even when families are happy etc teenagers are still evil. i was pretty evil as a teenager but my parents tried to ignore it as much as they could and im very nice now!
i think its pretty heartless of you to try to ship her off somewhere else because you find it hard to deal with. what about her relationship with her father? and how does she act to you. adults need to show kids respect if they want any back and it doesnt sound like you respect her at all.
try starting with that
2 words-----%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt; boot camp
Are you from Maine? Reason why I asked was....my step-daughter acts the same. She's the same age and she has no respect for anyone, net even herself. Her mother(Grandmother adopted her at birth and her real Grandmother) has tried everything and my step daughter could care less, if she gets pregnant.
Just to let you know, you're not alone here.
she might be going through some things in her life and she might not know how to express her self to u or to her dad. Maybe she will come around soon. if u ask her if she wants to live with her mom don't be rude it will only make things worst.
hi as a step mother
u never talk between she and his father.always be firm and show her yr strategy,and never forget
smile,u should be patient and somtimes change yr position think how it is hard to accept a step mother.god help u.
Maybe you should have a talk with him and have him no longer tollerate her actions. The only way to change her behavior is to change the reactions to her behavior
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